I am never short a story and this week is no exception. Here are a few stories that I will file away for future purposes.
1) During the book sale this weekend, I learned something about Santa Clarita's early days. This all started when someone said "Did you see that the Sex High Priestess is here?" What? "Oh, yes, in the 70's her husband spent a few years behind bars for pandering." Really! "Yes, the defense claimed that it wasn't pandering but a religious rite for their church--the judge didn't buy it and he spent some time." They pointed her out and she is a regular customer that looks a bit like a grandmother. Wow, you just never know, do you? I also found out in the good ole days when Mr. Newhall ran the newspaper, there were some pretty wild editorials and the DUI list was published every Monday.
2) I went to a going away party on Saturday after the book sale for one of the Assistants that got a job in Montana as a library manager. Her husband was driving back from Montana to California. He stopped in at a McDonald's, went to the toilet stall and sat down. He said he noticed that the commode seemed to drop a few inches and then suddenly with his pants down around his ankles water came forcefully gushing out. He was trying to get the door open but it opened in rather than out so he had a hard time. By the time he got himself decent enough to get out, he was drenched. The management decided to comp his meal because his bills were too wet and they didn't want to accept them. So it seems that spilling hot coffee on yourself earn you millions at McDonalds but having to narrowly escape drowning yourself with your pants down around your ankles gets you a 5 buck meal.
3) Yesterday I asked a gentleman to stop holding his crucifix up in the library. He asked "Is it illegal?" Before I could craft the answer "No, but proselytizing in the library is not allowed." He slipped the 7 inch cross into the Star of David necklace he was wearing with the statement "It is part of my outfit." The manager and I both said "That's fine as long as you are wearing it." The man sat back down to his computer. The manager and I looked at each other and agreed that he was a new one and hadn't been in either of our libraries before. A little later he asked to speak with the manager and the end result was that he was trying to cleanse all the bad ju-ju that people were bringing into the library. Thank you, I guess.
And finally 4) I was scheduled to do a walk through of my new library with my regional administrators. Y calls them the Three Fates. They are all great and I have learned a lot from each and everyone. One is very particular and exact. She always has well coordinated suits and has the right thing to say and do. Yesterday she was wearing a white jacket. After the walk through we went to lunch. I had ravioli with marinara sauce. Do you see where this is going? As she was sitting next to me, she was in direct line of spray when a ravioli slipped off my fork and back into the pool of bright red sauce. Mortification ruled my day. She took it very well, whipped out a Shout spot cleaner and proceeded to dab at the multitude of blood like spots. The only thing that could make me feel even marginally better was that my jacket and white shirt were also spotted although not as deeply. Oh, I am a total mess. I always find a way to sabotage myself in the worst way.
No comments:
Post a Comment