Weekend of Magic

On Friday night after work, I headed up to Lancaster to spend the evening with the sisters. They serve the BEST green chili chicken enchiladas ever! If ever asked the official questions of New Mexico--Red or Green? (Chili that is)My answer will almost always be green. M also came over. The sangria flowed and the conversation was good. After the week I had this was what I needed.
Saturday morning, I slept in for a while and woke up to sister J asking me if I wanted green chili scrambled eggs and the rest of the enchiladas for breakfast. No brainer on that one. Later I went up the street--only went the wrong way once--for Starbucks.
We relaxed a bit longer before heading down to the new Cinemark multiplex in Lancaster to watch Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.
This is the much awaited release that was supposed to happen last Fall but Warner Brothers decided to postpone the release date because they were not cash strapped after The Dark Knight and could. Also, putting out HP last fall would have coincided with the release of Twilight. Tween pockets are only so deep, so it made sense to release the movie later. Although the vendors who were cash strapped sitting on a load of HP products that they wouldn't be able to move for 9 more months was a heavy burden. But alas the 9 months have passed, a million new future fans for Harry have been born in the interim.
The movie was as good as anticipated. It is darker, but so is the book. The wizards have discovered sex, as teens are wont to do. The tension was handled very well. Harry gets one kiss and Ron is pretty much snogging throughout the film.
I am impressed at how well the cast has evolved and grown into their roles. The kids have matured as actors, which is good because the story demands more and more as they have to pack up their childhood and meet the demands of a world in crises. In this sense, I feel there are direct parallels between the wizard world on the screen and the real world that our teens have been left. These are uncertain times for our youth.
Personally, I loved Alan Rickman as Severus Snape. His actions and words are terse but entirely effective. He has honed his craft into an art with this character.
Even if you aren't into the the series, this movie is good on its own. Hope you enjoy it.
I spent most of Sunday on my sofa, trying to accommodate Louise and her demands. As a house guest she keeps me worn out. I was able to finish The Dragon Heir by by Cinda Williams Chima. This teen book is the recent addition to The Wizard Heir and The Warrior Heir. There are wizards, warriors, enchanters, and others belonging to the 5 magical guilds walking among us but they are mostly in Trinity, Ohio. The weir (wizard) have for centuries controlled the other guilds. But their abuses have gone to far. Can the young heirs reverse the tide or will they plunge not only their world but also that of the anawier (non-magical you and me)into chaos and destruction. Magic, love, action, betrayal and coming of age make this series a good read.

The Doctor Tells Me..

I have a mass and that I need to play the wait and see game for another 3 weeks before we can form a plan. The ultrasound I had earlier this month showed the mass. It is 5 cm. Apparently if a mass is between 5 & 8 cm then there is some wiggle room. Greater than 8 spells immediate surgery. The mass, I will call it Louise,well, Louise doesn't seem to be complex, that is a good thing. However, Louise does seem a little more solid than a simple cyst that might go away on her own. So right now my abdomen has a house guest, the test did not indicate exactly where Louise is staying but she isn't hanging out in my uterus. So a wild party she might have thrown last month is not responsible for the bleeding. Something else is, I need to wait for the biopsy results and the next ultrasound results for us to formulate a plan to evict Louise and any other unexpected guests, if any. I hope Louise is the only guest I am hosting right now.
The Biopsy. This morning at about 6:00, I inserted a little pill that was suppose to help me through the procedure today. From 9:50 to 10:10 I was alone in my little room, I took the time to meditate and calm myself. Something worked because the doctor punched through the cervix on the first try and didn't have to break out his armory of barbs and hooks that were waiting in line. The pain was intense, the most surreal intense pain I have ever felt, but it was short lived. He had to go back for a better sample but the second time was only mildly uncomfortable compared to the first punch.
I have been evaluating my feelings all day today. I feel introspective and a bit subdued but I haven't had a melt down. I am hopeful that this is nothing, a good chance it is. I may have to have surgery to remove the mass and they may or may not be able to save my one surviving ovary. My left one was removed on my 21st birthday. Whoohoo was that ever a memorable birthday.
But at this point there is no need for me to worry, either it is something or it isn't. If it is then I will have to deal with it, if it isn't then I need to count my blessing. There isn't much more to think about it, really. So I won't!

Just One of My Many Pet Peeves

The library is free, yes that is true but the library is not a free stationary store. Seriously. We provide golf pencils and slips of paper for people to write information down on. Why golf pencils? Because no one in the world wants a golf pencil. Why slips of paper? Because we try to cut down on waste and recycle as much as possible. All the time I used libraries before becoming a librarian, I never once asked to use anything. Well, maybe a stapler, maybe--but probably not.
Not a day goes by that someone doesn't ask to use a pen, lined paper, the stapler, a highlighter, whiteout, blank paper, etc. etc. etc. I have about 10-15 people ask to use the phone. Probably in the Fall when the Swine Flu returns with a vengeance, I will have to rethink handing the phone over to just anyone after dialing for them.
Yesterday, I had someone ask for a red pen, my teen librarian rooted around our tummy drawer until she came up for one for her. Then today, someone asked for a pen, when I showed her the cup of pens, she said no, she would prefer a marker. What? I explained that that ink pens are what we have for the public. The ink pens that disappear on a weekly basis. We probably go through a couple hundred dollars a year alone in ink pens that people borrow, promising to return but never do. These are probably the same people that checked out the GED books, the ASVAB books, and a Child Called It--the books I never seem to have on the shelf because people don't ever return them.
OK, I feel better now. But seriously...

Public Displays of Annoyance

When I first moved to Hawaii, I lived up in the back of Palolo Valley on some ag condo property. I rented a room in the main house with a fantastic view. A perky blonde Elementary School Teacher and her surf bum husband lived in the garage apartment upstairs. Their apartment and my bedroom shared a wall. About once a week, I would hear screeching littered with curses from their side of the wall. Always she was screaming on the phone wanting to know where the F*** he was and that he had better not come home f***ing drunk. It was somewhat disturbing. But what I found even more disturbing was that inevitable the morning after one of her screaming sessions, I would run into her going to work. As I settled my coffee into its cup holder, she would brightly beam goodness and sunshine at me. I could never figure out if she just pretended the way I did that her household was in good order or if she honestly did not know that the entire property had front row tickets to the best drama on the island.
Last Sunday in Vegas we went to the Shark Reef at the Mandalay Bay. It is pretty cool but by the time I got to the wreck with the sharks swimming around, I was not very subtly scooted out of the way so that 18 month old Mikey could see. Mom ran a narrative that everyone in the area could here. About 10 minutes later I was sitting on the benches waiting for our large party with J and his new girlfriend K. Mom still narrating was trying to get Mikey to smile for the photo. He was not cooperating and for a few seconds I thought she just might wallop him. I looked over at J and said "Somehow I think she is from Jersey or an outer borough." J agreed. I added, "boy I would hate to be over at their house for holiday gatherings." J appropriately shuddered. My very quiet niece was sitting across the way, I nodded at her, "I am the loud on in my family." J added "Your niece would be considered loud in my family." At that point, I cracked up at the on going monologue, J joined me.
At Universal today I was on the City Walk waiting for my niece and a friend's daughter to finish the theme park. I am a chicken so since I had two tickets, I thought it best to invite company along that would be happy to ride any ride. I was sitting outside Ben & Jerry's enjoying my shake when two women sat across from me. It seemed that they were from England or Oz, I can't always tell. One of the women was laying into the other one. For about 5 minutes, she harangued the Woman B about not being thankful for how thoughtful Woman A. She bought her an Obama T-shirt by god and she didn't even say a single thank you. She never registered appreciation for all that Woman A did for her. Clearly I my reading was interrupted by the much more interesting monologue going on in front of me. Sadly, I must have missed a bit while I was trying to to listen in because Woman A ended with "I should hang that bastard by the bollocks the next time I see him. That bastard." It seems that Woman B was not the only person on her LIST.
I am often surprised at our much dirty laundry people are willing to air in public. I was brought up far differently. I am a fairly emotional person, so I have been known to cry and pout in public but I don't remember ever truly acting out. My parents--read this my mother--also fondly known as the Dragon Queen--just would not have put up with it. Apparently I threw one temper tantrum in public and that was it--my mom had a tendency to deal with miss behavior swiftly. She reportedly immediately carried me out of the store, took me home and dealt with me there. Her actions have obviously held a lasting life long impression.

Overworked, Vegas, IQ, EQ and more...

Summer has sped by at a lightening pace. At work we are over worked and understaffed. I have 4 people--that is almost 25% of my staff--on limited duties. We have had record days of circulation. As a busy medium sized library we have a daily circ on our long days of about 1200 items. However, we had two days over 1900 in a row and almost every Monday and Tuesday this past month has been at more than 1500. So we are definitely doing more with less. And the sometimes short tempers show. So I spend most of my day trying to get items back on the shelf so that people can take them and we don't have to hunt around the library looking for them for them--the item that is for the patrons. Last night I had my niece go around the library picking up stray books off the tables and the floor because the one lonely page I had for the eight hours could not work below her knees or above her head or bend very much, or squat, or lift, ect, ect, ect. It could be worse and certainly may get worse with the economy. I only hope that I am a high enough librarian number to withstand the storm that we still haven't found the brunt of yet.
As you may have heard, California has yet to balance the budget and is issuing IOU's. One resource they have up their sleeves is to invoke a proposition passed in the 2004 that would allow the state to borrow money from the cities and counties for 3 years. The money has to be paid back but in the mean time the cities and counties are in trouble. Yes, we live in fear of invocation. The cities and counties are of course up in arms about this. I live in Santa Clarita which although has been hard hit has practiced budgetary restraint apparently since incorporation in the 80's so they are justifiably angry that big Pork fat Sacramento wants to take their hard earned dollars. The county is also angry. I have a big sign in my library urging people to call their legislators today. One patron did, and the legislators office told her that he didn't know why she was calling because the proposition had failed in the last election. This years Prop 1 failed, yes. But not 2004's. Very heartening that a reps office doesn't know what is going on. Yes, I am sure that that call was passed on.
This last weekend was Vegas, me and my $40 cups of coffee. The Starbucks that I usually like to go to outside the casino was closed. So that meant I had to get my morning fix with all the pretty tempting blinking flashy lights. The machines without exception ate my money in the morning. And I know better because I have determined that the machines never never pay out in the mornings. So why do I do it?
I think it is a little thing called Emotional Intelligence and delayed gratification.
Recently I have read--actually I am still reading two of them, ok three of them--books on Emotional Intelligence. It's an interesting concept and supposedly has more impact on your future success or lack there of than intelligence--of which I possess at least an average amount--according to the IQ quiz I took while waiting for the baby to wake up from his nap this weekend. Not my baby mind you. Nope, my genes are out of the pool. Back to EQ. Anyway, once upon a time there was a study that began with 4 year olds and followed them through to adulthood. The 4 year olds in a room with a researcher were given the option when the researcher was called away. "Here is a cookie for you, you can have it but if you wait to eat it until I come back then you can have two cookies." What a dirty trick to play on 4 year olds was my first thought. Well, it turns out that the 4 year olds that were able to delay their gratification for the bigger reward had more EQ and turned out to do much better overall in life than the greedy gobbly 4 year olds that snarfed the cookie as soon as the researcher left the room. As I sat feeding my slot machine early in the morning, I had no doubt which category I would have fallen into as a young child. But there is hope although IQ cannot be alter, EQ on the other hand can be. That I tell myself is why I only spent $15 on Monday on the slots and not because that was all the cash I had in my wallet. Well, I choose to call it an improvement!
And finally, yesterday I had my ultrasound. Much to my regret--I think--the most likely suspect, my thyroid is innocent of all charges. So it is something else. The ultrasound this week and the biopsy next week should sort things out. The entire procedure took about 30 minutes and the technician took a lot of photos. This made me nervous. I asked if she was going to do the vaginal one. Her response "I think so to give a better picture." Crap, I would have preferred--I think--"No, I don't see a need for that." So once I emptied my bladder from the tummy side view, I disrobed and came out to meet the vaginal insertion for the inside look around. All I have to say is not fun. This part of the procedure lasted at least 15 years and although she said she was only going to insert the device--that appeared to be condom covered and well lubricated--just about 3 inches, I think it was the entire 10. Once again a lot of photos. I tried my best to disengage my mind from the lower half of my body. When it was over and I had dressed, she said that the images would be sent to the dr by the end of the week. He's on vacation until next week when I go back for the oh so fun--this is really going to hurt bad, so stick this pill as far up you as you can 4 hours before you come and be sure to take a big dose of ibuprofen beforehand--biopsy. GREAT!!! All I can say is that I definitely did not use my quota of luck in Vegas so maybe I still have some left. I can only hope.

The Tao of Pooh & The Te of Piglet

I am always amazed how serendipity works in my life. I want to work and live overseas--I get a phone call asking me if I want to work in Japan. Things aren't working out in Slovakia, I call Japan to ask for the want ads only to find my former employers on their way to unexpectedly place one. I am able to attend an interview because I have the day off because I unexpectedly change jobs as I result I end up in LA.
On the Friday that all this nonsense began, a customer came into the library looking for some books on Taoism. I put him in the right section and then I also suggest that he might be interested in The Tao of Pooh and/or the The Te of Piglet by Benjamin Hoff. He asked me if I had read them, and I had to admit that although they were both sitting on my bookshelf to eventually get to that I hadn't. But that I understood that they were quite good. That evening, I decided that if I recommend a book, I really should read it myself. So I got them off my shelf and started through them.
The are quite good and thought provoking. The are also heavily relevant to my current situation and has helped me put it in prospective. One of my favorite stories is in the Te of Piglet to paraphrase here it goes: a farmer has only one horse, the horse runs away; the neighbor comes over and says "How unlucky you are" and the farmer responds "How do you know?" The next day the horse comes back and brings 3 wild horses with it. the neighbor comes over and says "How lucky you are" and the farmer responds "How do you know?" The next day the farmer son breaks his arm trying to ride one of the wild horses. the neighbor comes over and says "How unlucky you are" and the farmer responds "How do you know?" The next day the emperors troops come by to conscript all able-bodied young men--his son is not able to go.
In English we often talk about Blessings in Disguise and Strange Twists of Fate. So it is best not to consider yourself lucky or unlucky we are not sure how the universe has decided that things will unfold. But the book further explains that positive energy will attract the positive and negative energy the negative. It is best to be thankful for what we have period and to strive to be true to our own natures.
The books are fun and easy to get through. The Te of Piglet is actually meatier as far as Taoism is concerned. The only thing that I question in the book is how Hoff tells the West to look at China, Japan and Korea as examples of environmentalism. This when China is a seething cesspool of pollution and government programs are trying to re-engineer nature. Japan until recently allowed home furnaces to burn trash. My balcony in Hiroshima was covered in soot that I had to clean every every week. Although there are fine examples that I am sure each countries have, they are not models by any means.

Life is Good

Truly it is. My glass is half full. Sometimes, I forget and instead focus on what I don't have and the disparity between what I have and what I want. But there will always be something that I want, something that I will feel will make my life perfect if only, if only I have this one thing. I acquire it only to find that I am lacking something else. What I should focus on is the half fullness of my life.
If someone had told me at the age of 17 that I would live in Japan, San Francisco, Slovakia, Hawaii and LA; that I would travel around the world, see some amazing sights, meet amazing people and have a very special network of fantastic friends I would have been so exciting. I am quite sure I would have said "Wow, it sounds like I am going to have the best life ever, I can't wait to get started with it." When I think about my life like this, I think I have had it pretty darn good and still do. I love my job, I am working to get out of debt. I have a list of goals to work towards and I have a beautiful niece staying with me this summer. I am getting to know this very special person and in her I see a part of me when I was her age. It is enchanting to see her face light up with wonder or scrunch up in puzzlement with the things that I now take for granted.
Yes, life is good. I have insurance to cover my health issues; the knowledge to know when I am not getting the full picture and the resources to figure things out. So the doctor tells me I have a type of menorrhagia. He is not quite sure why, but the most likely suspects are that my thyroid is confused and is sending confused messages to my ovary; my ovary may be confused on it its own; or a fibroid may have ripped the uterus. Not as likely but also possible is cancer. We have to sort out the cause before the solution can be discussed but the solution ranges from endometrial ablation or hormone therapy to a hysterectomy with the latter being the worst case scenario. On Thursday I had my blood drawn for a full panel thyroid test; the same test that I fought with my doctor a year ago to get. Now I am getting it which only proves that you should be careful what you ask for. Next month after I come back from Vegas I will have an ultrasound and then two weeks later I will have a uterine biopsy. The doctor has promised that this nifty little procedure will be very painful since I have never had children. I am on holding pattern for the next month. I have stocked up on sanitary products because I will need them. I wonder if I will notice when my next period comes or if it will all just bleed into one. Oh, cripes that was an unintentionally bad pun.
I had a mini meltdown after the office visit. But then I thought, things could be much worse. Many people have far greater health issues without the knowledge, resources or support network to deal with them. Yes, I don't appreciate putting up with the nonsense of having to wear dark clothes and the prospect of dealing a minimum of 6 weeks of PMS but I am not in any pain or real discomfort. I also understand the source of my irritability which makes it easier to deal with. As far as menorrhagia goes the glass is half full.
Life is good.