Running

I started running a long time ago when things were going south with A. I had so much emotional energy to expend that running seemed like a good outlet. I was really surprised that I enjoyed running so much. And I over the course of the years used running to help me cope with relationship difficulties to extent that one student said that "When you have a boyfriend you are fat and when you are single you are skinny." Somehow, much to my chagrin I haven't been able to tap those emotional reserves that send me chasing the mile markers with sweat during the last two break ups. I blame graduate school and taxing full-time jobs on part of it. I in some ways miss the edgy feeling that all that emotional energy breeds but at the same time, I am glad that if I put on my shoes for a run it is because I am not trying to cope with a bad relationship. There is a glass half full here somewhere.
Last night, I decided to walk at least one hour to make up not running in the morning because I had a few New Castles at The Londoner with J the previous night and in time to get myself organized for my eye appointment. By the way, I am one step away from bi-focals--I can't be old enough for those, can I!?! So, with no intentions to run at all, I started up Soledad and then crossed over to the bike path. Once on the bike path, I thought "What if I just shuffle along for a bit? Not really running, but faster than walking." Since I wasn't dressed in running togs and since I had my old old shoes (would be hash shoes in Hawaii or Japan), I really didn't want to really run. I wasn't dressed for it. So I shuffle along for a while and realize I wasn't having any of my I'm-dying-here-you're-killing-me feelings that I usually have for the first 5-10 minutes of a real run, probably because I was going so slow. In the end, I decided to shuffle along for 30 minutes before walking back home. I felt so good, heart rate up, mind clear, feel good chemicals kicked in--this is why I love running and really and truly want to do the Santa Clarita Marathon in the fall. Can I do it? That is the challenge! Wish me luck!