Sunday, September 7, 2008

Maslow Forgot Something Important

Maslow came up with the five basic levels of needs. The first level is the physiological which is basically, eating, drinking, sleeping, pooping & procreating. After that we think about safety, and then so forth and so one.

I believe that some were between Levels One and Two fall the need for the Purse, bag, sack or what have you. Before you need a home you need a bag. All of human society basically falls back on if you have a bag or not. I believe that men subjugated women because we had the bags and they needed one.
Let me develop this thought a big further and I am certain that you will agree with me. I came up with these nuggets of wisdom while I was trying to justify why I needed one more purse. I have a load of them, all shapes and sizes but I didn't have THAT ONE. It has to be the best purse ever, but then again, I think I have said that several hundred times in my life already--usually as the justification to add one more to my collection. So I had to come up with another reason and I think that "Being conditioned by thousand upon thousands of years of human experience" is a perfectly logical explanation. Unfortunately the bag in question that I resisted yesterday was not on sale today so I could no longer justify my purchase. My philosophy is actually only worth $35 and not $70.
Bags are the most important personal belonging a human could ever possibly have. Think about it, we need bags to carry our belongs, If we don't have a home, then you have to keep everything with you in a bag. If you travel, what do you use--a bag. Shopping needs bags. Women being the smarter of the sexes, have always carried bags with us. Men, I believe attach them to women primarily because we carry bags. Men, go to great pains with their bag issues and they are not very imaginative. Men bags mostly consist of brief cases, gym bags, messenger satchels, & back packs. I believe there is probably a correlation between the rise of backpack carrying men and the number of women who choose to marry later in life if at all. Let's face it. Although a brief case looks pretty spiffy on the commuter train, it looks less so at the beach or at the gym or at the coffeeshop on Sunday afternoon. Men try to make out that they can get by with only their wallet in their back pocket and change,keys, & cellphones weighing them down in the front. But any women who has dated or married a man knows that they would prefer to make use of the much more efficient feminine solution--the purse. My mom carried my dad's gun in her purse for years when he was off duty and would have looked silly wearing his gun belt with jeans and a T-shirt. I have carried cameras, wallets, phones, keys and other belongings of men I have known. I don't blame men for foisting their personal effects on us. Like George Castanza threw his back out for carrying a full wallet, I can imagine many male back problems could be attributed to uneven sitting. I decided men should actually be attracted to the women with the biggest bags. Maybe I should stop carrying small bags around and go for a big tote. Maybe I would score a date! Sadly, it is true, I am getting desperate!

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